Packing

I’ve been packing for Palau this week.  It is fun, but also  to think about what I might need for 10 months on an island in the South Pacific.  It would be nice to just set out and not have to carry baggage—just keep an invisible supply that I can magically produce when I need it, instead of hauling it around.  It would be nice not to have to rely on material things.  But there are some things you can’t do without…that’s how life is.  And while some things I need to pack can be found in my own home (like clothes), other things I need to buy (like water shoes and school craft supplies).  And of course, the most essential things (like sheets and shoes) take up the most space.  And unfortunately, the things I really really WANT to take (like books) weigh the most. 

Of course, the most important things I need aren’t ones I can just pack.  I used to have a sort of idea that missionaries were the kinds of people who believed they could “do it.”  That they said, “I’ve got this, I can handle this, I have what it takes.”  But I’m realizing that presidential candidates are the ones who say that…not missionaries.  People don’t become missionaries (or shouldn't) because they have all the love, wisdom, vision, kindness, caring, selflessness, courage, knowledge, experience, or skills they need.  I’m realizing that I can’t just pull those things out of a hat.  Because when you go to pack what you need in your heart, you realize that your suitcase is empty, your shelves are bare, and there’s no store where you can buy them.  It might be tempting to set up the suitcase and make it look like it’s packed, or maybe even pack a bunch of cheap things in it and hope they’ll get you through.  But the only thing you can really do is admit that you don’t have anything.  And that's not easy...  

But it’s at that point when you can truly, honestly ask God to supply your lack. In fact, just when you realize how poor you are, that’s the point when you’re ready for God to give you what you need.  It’s only when you’re really hungry that you can appreciate and eat a big buffet of food and sympathize with other people who are hungry.  
So never feel like you have to scrounge every virtue and good deed out of your own supply.  I'm thankful that I found a bunch of verses that explain this clearly:
 

John 15:5

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

And I really like this verse that says God not only supplies the fruits of righteousness, but also the seeds:

2 Corinthians 9:10

Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness, ¹¹ while you are enriched in everything for all liberality, which causes thanksgiving through us to God.

Philippians 4:19

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

2 Corinthians 12:9

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

^{Matthew 7}

⁷ “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. ⁹ Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? ¹¹ If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

Psalm 81:10

I am the Lord your God, Who brought you out of the land of Egypt; Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.

Luke 10:42

But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”  (And the good part was receiving what she needed from Jesus, not rushing around trying to do everything herself)

So even if I don't have everything I need for being a student missionary, I know that God will take care of it if I ask Him.  He's got it under control.  

 And I'm thankful my actual packing has been going well too.  My family and friends have made sure I have everything I could possibly need (and more...), and I think that's exactly what God wants to do when He says, "If you...know how to give good gifts...how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!"

Thanks to everyone who has helped (especially my mom :) ), and thanks to God who supplies all our needs.  I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be.  Off to Palau I go...